10 Gadgets Apple Should Release After the Watch

September 10, 2014

10:30 am

The Apple Watch is coming! It’s sexy! It’s elegant! It’s so sensitive it can distinguish between a tap and a press!

But can it help you win an argument with your spouse? Does it shine your shoes? Does it make you fly? I didn’t think so. Here are 10 gadgets that we’d like to see from Apple in the future.

iGlass

“Just like a glass to hold any beverage you can imagine, but of course costs 5X what a normal glass costs and you will feel much more powerful and creative while drinking from it. iGlass — you’re more thirsty than you think.”

– Scott Robertson, CEO and founder of Robertson Communications Corp.

iPry

“Apple [will] take voice recognition to the next level by listening in and indexing all conversations that happen at home between spouses so that the next time someone claims they mentioned something in the past, it can actually be provable. I’m sure advertisers would love to mine this data and market to you depending on what you say in your private domicile.”

– Cameron Postelwait, marketing director at Sewelldirect.com

iBoss

“It’s slimmer than your current boss and doesn’t mind when you push its buttons. Despite the promises, it won’t actually help with workplace productivity.”

– Jacob Aldridge

iOfTheTiger

“Literally just plays that song, on demand, whenever you need it. Because we all need it a lot more often.”

– Jason Fidler, communications specialist at Constant Contact

iCar

It “takes you automatically to an Apple store, or to the store(s) that are advertising with them. It could also offer hands-free driving so you can concentrate on their streaming sales pitches.”

– Ron Wood of Ron Wood Public Relations

iEye

“Apple will need to compete with Google Glass, which offers a much richer experience than any iWatch can. With that in mind, Apple will be releasing the iEye (aye aye!), a contact lens-based computing product that will allow users to dynamically change their eye color with an app, use facial recognition software to remember people’s names, and through seamless integration with HealthKit, continuously conduct an eye exam and dynamically adjust the prescription for the contact lenses to compensate for excessive screen time.”

– Tim Erlin, director of IT risk and security strategy at Tripwire

iButler

“The iButler will shine your shoes, pick up a newspaper, get you a beer, and, above all else, automatically order the latest gadget from Apple the minute it becomes available!”

– Dan Nainan, comedian

iPatch

“Put this on and talk like a pirate – arrr.”

– Tim Lynch of Psychsoftpc

iFly

“iFly a personal transportation device that avoids highway congestion. The app monitors the traffic reports, and when your commute home will be too slow, you turn on the turbochargers!”

– Bonnie Zaben, COO of AC Lion

iForgot

“A headset that uses facial recognition to ID acquaintances when you can’t remember their names. Stop greeting ‘Mr. Johns…adams…son’ and start saying ‘Hey Joe!’ There are many reasons seeing an old acquaintance – or flame – can be awkward; but at least now you’ll know the names of those to avoid like the plague.”

– Hillary Hafke, Chicago, IL

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Kira M. Newman is a Tech Cocktail writer interested in the harsh reality of entrepreneurship, work-life balance, and psychology. She is the founder of The Year of Happy and has been traveling around the world interviewing entrepreneurs in Asia, Europe, and North America since 2011. Follow her @kiramnewman or contact kira@tech.co.

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