Mobile-Ready Pants: Zappos’ Response To iPhone 6

September 10, 2014

7:24 pm

I’ve been waiting years for this one, friends: I will not abide missing out on the latest and greatest tech trends. Oh, and I’m not talking about the iPhone 6 – I’m a devout Android customer. Rather, I’ll be cleaning my life savings out for the sleek, sexy, swag-tastic Mobile-Ready Pants Zappos has just released.

At only $100,000, and trust me this is a huge bargain. I’ll be receiving a pair of high-tech overalls that can actually store every device I’ve ever owned – even my smartphones from 3 years ago. My personal favorite feature that Zappos has ingeniously built into these dungarees is what I’ll call the kangaroo pouch; front and center is a massive pocket that can fit a large tablet (or perhaps your infant child watching cartoons on your tablet).

For guys and gals both, gone are the days of having to choose which devices you’ll leave at home. The team of developers has been iterating round the clock so wearers can avoid the anxiety inherent in leaving their bigger devices at home. After all, who doesn’t want to take pictures of everything with an iPad all the time? There’s even a cute, contrast-stitched and brass-stud fitted headphone pocket.

This is just another example of Zappos’ commitment to providing their customers with top-notch products before their competitors. Last year after Kanye West dissed Tony Hsieh’s company – the rapper claimed Zappos sold sh-t products, the team actually developed v1 of the Zappos Sh-t Product to appease Mr. West.

The icing on the cake is that, like every other Zappos product, you’ll get these in 1 business day and won’t have to pay a dime for shipping.

Disclaimer: This is a satirical article in response to the satirical landing page Zappos built for the Mobile-Ready Pants. All of us at Tech Cocktail, and all of Downtown Vegas, love all of you at Zappos and we hope your sense of humor never wanes!

 

 

 

 

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Will is a Senior Writer with Tech.Co, based out of America’s Finest City: San Diego. He covers all territory West of the Mississippi river, digging deep for awesome local entrepreneurs, companies, and ideas. He’s the resident Android junkie and will be happy to tell you why you should switch to the OS. When he’s off the clock, Will focuses his literary talent on the art of creative writing…or you might find him surfing in Ocean Beach.

Follow Will on Twitter @WJS1988

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