A List of Other Things I Want Taylor Swift to Change

June 22, 2015

5:02 pm

This weekend, Apple changed its position on Apple Music after multi-Grammy Award winner Taylor Swift penned a blog post admonishing the company for its initial plans to not pay royalties to artists during the company’s music service’s free, three-month trial for users. Last night, as a response to Swift’s entry, Apple‘s senior vice president of Internet Software and Services, Eddy Cue, assured Swift and the rest of the Internet that the company had changed its mind and will now pay artists throughout Apple Music’s free trial period. Considering TayTay’s slayage (not officially a word) of Apple Music, I thought of a few more things that I think Taylor Swift could try to change.

Earlier this month, at Apple’s World Wide Developer Conference (WWDC), the company announced Apple Music as a competitor to current music streaming services like Spotify. Planned to be priced at $10 per month, Apple Music is set to launch at the end of this month and will start by offering users with a free three-month trial. Initially, the company had planned on not paying royalties to song writers, producers, or artists throughout that trial period; however, thanks  to Taylor Swift, Apple reversed that decision a few hours after she posted her blog post.

“I’m sure you are aware that Apple Music will be offering a free 3 month trial to anyone who signs up for the service,” writes Taylor Swift in her blog post. “I’m not sure you know that Apple Music will not be paying writers, producers, or artists for those three months. I find it to be shocking, disappointing, and completely unlike this historically progressive and generous company.”

Responses to this news has been varied from the Internet community, with a new Twitter hashtag, #DearAppleLoveTaylor, now tracking what other things Taylor Swift should try to change. Inspired by these, here’s my own list of things that we hope Tay can try to change:

  1. Ability to delete pre-installed apps; I am (arguably) too smart for Tips
  2. Size of my iPhone 6; must be able to pee without fear of dropping phone due to bulk
  3. Quality of my selfies; please make me prettier through Apple magic
  4. Lack of literal Apple magic
  5. People talking about a tech bubble
  6. Or at least change references of a bubble to that of a pimple; bubbles are fun…pimples are not
  7. That damn Series A crunch
  8. The diversity gap in the tech industry
  9. Our treatment of women entrepreneurs
  10. Majority-male venture capital panels
  11. Snapchat’s confusing UI so I can finally be a normal Millennial who snaps
  12. Instagram’s comment policy with URLs
  13. The glamorization of burnout
  14. Our denial of founder depression
  15. Our perceptions on mental health
  16. The near-pointlessness of Twitter lists
  17. LinkedIn’s god-awful UX
  18. Amazon’s iPhone app crashing every time I try to order toilet paper
  19. Google Chrome’s performance
  20. My follower : following ratio on Instagram
  21. Our societal standards for what qualifies as success
  22. And our standards for beauty
  23. Price of Lululemon’s “ABC” pants
  24. Netflix’s judgmental tone when marathoning Gilmore Girls
  25. The zero dollars in my bank account
  26. Calories in McDonald’s McNuggets
  27. Every dating app that isn’t Tinder
  28. Kim Kardashian’s voice
  29. South Carolina State Capitol’s hanging of the Confederate battle flag
  30. The belief that we’re in a post-racial society
  31. The number of pounds I have to lose for my #summerbod
  32. People’s engagement posts somehow always floating to the top of my Facebook feed
  33. The season 5 finale of Game of Thrones

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Ronald Barba was the previous managing editor of Tech.Co. His primary story interests include industry trends, consumer-facing apps/products, the startup lifestyle, business ethics, diversity in tech, and what-is-this-bullsh*t things.

Aside from writing about startups and entrepreneurship, Ronald is interested in ‘Doctor Who’, Murakami, ‘The Mindy Project’, and fried chicken. He is currently based in New York because he mistakenly studied philosophy in college and is now a “writer”. Tweet @RonaldPBarba.

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