September 18, 2011
Now that we are in the full swing of the political season, the spinmeisters are running wild – and many entrepreneurs are picking up the spun-lingo. The use of language – like morphing the negative term global warming into the the more neutral climate change – is just one example of the kind of spin that fries my shorts.
This crappy BS talk makes me cranky, so I have created for you my own little course on Marketing BS.
|What They Said||What They Meant|
|We are industry thought leaders||We’re not thoughtful enough to think up our own clichés|
|Our stakeholders||People we’re supposed to care about but don’t|
|In my humble opinion||I’m brilliant, you’re an idiot, so ignore me at your peril|
|With all due respect||You suck|
|To be honest||Every time I don’t prefix a statement with “to be honest” I’m lying – and I am also lying even when I do|
|No offense, but…||Duck fast…incoming|
|I need you to think outside the box||Try and be creative and don’t use tired old jargon like me|
|Core competency||Yada yada yada|
|Let’s take this off-line||Ack, I can’t believe you said that|
|Best of breed||We’re breeding drones|
|Manage expectations||Disaster control|
|So many people are drinking their kool-aid||They are kicking our butts|
|Cutting edge||Bring a first aid kit|
|We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it||I have no friggin’ idea what I’m doing|
|It’s water under the bridge||I’m the boss and I’m not going to say I’m sorry so just skip it|
|Let’s not beat a dead horse||Do as a say and not as I just said|
|We’ve invented the next big thing||We have a really cool thing but we can’t find anyone who wants it|
|Our core competency is||What is it again that you said you needed?|
|We’ve a disruptive technology||Sure it’s a little like Google but our search engine alphabetizes its results.|
Now the good news is that is appears that more and more English speakers are entering the business word and bullshit is leaving the lexicon – although the word bullshit may be coming into vogue again as our own Frank Gruber recently called “bullshit” on a large online media controversy right here just a few days ago). And you know what doesn’t suck as much as it use to? The word suck has become acceptable office-speak.
So why don’t you leave a comment below and add to my list? I’m sure I missed a boatload of bullshit terms.
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