February 11, 2015
When it comes to romantic relationships, sometimes letting go just isn't as relieving as people claim. No matter the amount of time that has elapsed or the situation through which these relationships end, a recurrence of memories and past emotions is inevitable, and we fall to weaknesses of human nature – our hearts becoming an encumbrance to our very existence….our souls shattering into an entire box of pizza. Despite our attempts at “letting go” or our beliefs that we've already done so, our innate human fallacies know otherwise, and we continue to hold on to the memories of a past love or even to the physical reminders of what once was. Well, now, with the “Ex-Box”, you never have to get rid of those old gifts, mementos, or letters from your exes; instead, you can store them somewhere safely for all of eternity.
That's right – if you happen to live in Chicago, the valet storage service SpaceWays is offering the Ex-Box, a way to keep alive those memories of your ex-boyfriend or -girlfriend. The Ex-Box (a play on the Xbox gaming system, duh) is a storage box for you to store all of those physical reminders from past relationships and keep them hidden away in a storage facility. According to SpaceWays, each Ex-Box will come with three months of free storage and a box of chocolates, and will offer the company's current policy of no-charge pick-up and drop-off.
“Valentine’s Day is about celebrating your current love, and with the SpaceWays Ex-Box, we can help get reminders of past loves out of the house, though not out of mind,” said SpaceWays managing director, Rob Rebholz. “It’s natural to want to hold on to gifts or letters from an ex, but your new partner might not want to see the reminders lying around, especially on Valentine’s Day. The [Ex-Box] is an easy way to remove something temporarily without losing it forever.”
The company is advertising the Ex-Box as a way to stay connected with your current boyfriend or girlfriend, without having to fully rid yourself of the good memories from exes. But, I mean, we all know what it's really all about, right? It's about a company actually knowing your deepest desires of wanting to eventually reunite with that one particular ex that you just can't get your mind off – you know it, I know it, the [diety or greater purpose you believe in…”God”] knows it; SpaceWays is just providing you the added bonus of keeping those mementos safe in their storage facility until that reunion comes.
If you're interested in an Ex-Box, SpaceWays will be offering the promotion from now through the end of February. To do so, simply enter the promo code EXBOXS860 at checkout. After the initial three months of free storage, you can continue to store your Ex-Box at a rate of $5.90 per month or choose to have the items returned.
I leave you with this cheery song:
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