February 11, 2014
Ah, Valentine’s Day, the shitty brainchild of Hallmark and 18th-century Romanticism (thanks, Chaucer). For those in relationships, it can be a pretty beautiful time – the romantic dinner, the flowers sent to your office, and the overall feeling that someone out there cares for you. However, for all we single folks out there, Valentine’s Day is just another reminder of our loneliness and our perpetual struggle with cheese addiction. No worries, though, if you’re single and feeling left out, DC-based Bloompop, which allows you to order arrangements online from artisan local florists, has come up with a perfect solution: send yourself flowers from a fake Valentine!
While it’s certainly no consolation to a real-life boyfriend surprising you with a tub filled with spaghetti, flowers from your fake Valentine will let your friends and co-workers know that online dating is working out for you (“see, he sent me flowers!”). Simply visit the My Fake Valentine site, choose the persona of your fake Valentine (The Romantic, The Secret Admirer, and The Creep), and decide on a flower arrangement (priced at $69, $99, $129). Come Valentine’s Day, feign embarrassment as you receive your beautiful bouquet from your boyfriend, Charles Roger Worthington III (Dartmouth ’09, HBS ’13).
I mean, sure, doing this will probably feed into your delusion about how well your life is going, but whatever – it’s all worth it if at least one person becomes envious of everything (nothing) you’ve got going for you, right?
Send yourself a fake Valentine gift today! Cry about your loneliness tomorrow!
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